Who I Am

So I've talked before about being on my path. Knowing things that shape who I am and who I want to be on my journey. And the longer I listen to myself, the more I find out who I really am. The only problem with finding who I am is finding I'm nowhere near who I thought I was and nowhere near what society and other people would consider “acceptable”. Now though, I am okay with that. I have finally made my peace with who I am and it is more freeing than I ever thought possible.

So who I am, you ask? Well, grab a mug of coffee or tea and a comfy seat and I will share who I am and how I managed my journey. Because life may be a highway, but all highways have on and off ramps for amazing, sometimes challenging detours. Sometimes they are beautiful, sometimes mournful and then sometimes they are so awe-inspiring that you feel goosebumps when you mention something that resonates with your heart?

Religion is often something that makes up the majority of people. Following God, being a Buddhist, Taoist, Christian, Pagan or Gnostic. It's such a variety and there is a war with all of them. We're too worried about the terms to worry about the bigger picture. For me, I identify myself as a God and Goddess loving, Jesus following, nature loving, tree hugging hippie Kitchen Witch. Why all these things? Because I believe in the duality. I don't feel that God would be just male. I really believe that everything on Earth is made in “Their” image so it would have to be a duality. I believe in Jesus and His teachings, yet I believe He was our Earth-bound teacher. He respected the land, the people of different faiths and especially those who were different or not considered equal to other people. His teachings are basic life lessons that teach you how to be a good person. And yes, He did say that you should love your God with all your heart. But I feel my God is both a God and a Goddess. Two entities who form one.

So the nature loving, tree hugging hippie Kitchen Witch part. I really feel like a God/Goddess who put us on this Earth and talks so much about it in the beginning that They wanted us to have everything we need to take care of ourselves. Herbalism, Divination, Respect, enjoyment in the daily tasks are parts of me that are most important. Healthy living. Living out the role of a mom, healer and care provider for my family is best done in my Kitchen. Growing nutrition {aka a garden/herbs} and using that to heal my family. Using my energy and praying for guidance in my kitchen while I prepare things to nourish my families bodies and souls. Respecting nature. Giving back to it when I can by recycling and composting. Loving Earth by treating her with respect and teaching my children to respect and love it. Leaving a better Earth for my children and leaving better children for the Earth.

So we've covered the religion part. The next part is where I have finally have come to realize anyone who has a problem with who I am, really isn't accepting of themselves. When we finally accept ourselves as a whole and no longer worry about what others think of us, then we can do the same for other people. To find acceptance for other people, we have to look deep inside ourselves and find out who we really are. Admit our flaws {I'm horrible at follow through, talk a lot and might need to tone my arms and belly.} and acknowledge our strengths without feeling like we shouldn't brag {I'm a great doula, an awesome researcher and a fun mom.} then we can look at others and only see their strengths. When we knit-pick others we are doing it because we are projecting our thoughts onto them. Sometimes this can be a good thing. It gives us a chance to really see what we need to work on or let go off. Where we can further grow in our lives and where it is time to let the plant die so that we can make room for a new one. For a long time I have projected my problems and flaws onto other people. I never stop to consider that it was something I need to work on. Finally realizing that has set me free.

I don't like wearing makeup. But I look really amazing in it. So I do it to make myself feel beautiful when I want to. And only when I want to. Never more, never less. I do however, like wearing dresses and skirts all the time. I feel more like myself when wearing them. I went all through high school wearing pants and really was never comfortable. If I had known that I would feel a million times more comfortable in my own skin wearing dresses I would have done it ages ago.

And I like to make things, but my follow through sucks. I keep saying I want to open an Etsy shop, but I'm afraid that if I did I wouldn't keep up with everything. I'd forget to mail stuff or I'd suck at it. Honestly, I'd really love to open a shop up like the one in Practical Magic. Maybe I should work on that next. Add it in with my doula and midwife work. We'll see.

So I've shared who I am and where I am considering going, so sound off in the comments who you are and where you are going. Have you found out who you are? Are you working on it?


-The Anti-Mainstream Mom

Ramble, Ramble

So I've been gone. I know, crummy me. But between a birth, mailing gifts out (and prizes!!) and starting to take charge of my healthy, I've just been kind of swamped. So while today is short and sweet, I do think about you all daily and am figuring out everything on my iPhone to get things going.

So this week brings *hopefully* the launch of the Etsy shop. Week 2 of C25k training and enough lettuce in my garden to make a salad!

So here's the baby from the last birth I attended! She's gorgeous and her mom was a rockstar! VBAC natural birth that didn't last very long at all. This family was amazing. Seriously, the dad of Baby W could be teaching classes on how to be a gentleman.

Ignore my lovely look. I was exhausted!

Here's one of the first babies I was there to witness and support being born. Baby Kenners (not her real name!) is actually the cousin to Baby W. She too was also born naturally to a mom having her 3rd baby and first natural birth! It was a marathon birth, but taught me so much! And Momma ended up becoming one of my best friends.

Those cheeks! She's so loveable. We even FaceTime!

And last but not least, my running soundtrack. Just because I am so giddy about my old school music!

So tell me below, what do you listen to when you workout!?!

-The Anti-Mainstream Mom


 

Finding my Internal Beat

*Thump, thump-thump, thump, thuuuuummmmp*

Listen quietly. Sit in the calm and you'll hear it. You'll feel it.It's always been with you. It always will be. It's there beneath everything. Beneath every sound, vibrations and distraction. And until we discover that we have it, it can be rather quiet, not making enough noise to stir our attention.

The first sound we hear in the womb is our mother's heartbeat. We vibrate to that Primordial Rhythm even before we have ears to hear. ~Layne Redmond

 We each have our own internal beat.  A rhythm unique to each of us. One that drives our souls and stirs our passions. And it's beautiful and passionate. It ebbs and flows, stronger sometimes, softer others.

So what's your internal beat like? I don't know! And that's the beauty of it. I'm still learning my own. And when I find mine and you find yours, we'll make beautiful music together with our beats.

But I can share things that shape mine. They change weekly, monthly, sometimes hourly. But the are what forms the rhythm in my soul.

My beat is shaped by my family, my role in my family, my kids, nature, breastfeeding, music, my lifestyle and my job-being a doula. They make up my beat. My nurturing, caring, opinionated and wondrous beat.

What shapes yours?

Hugs & Coffee,
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom
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Word Wars and The Power of Words

It's hard to stop and think that in the age of technology that people consider words to be the sharpest tools to cut another person with. That we have gotten so far from the actual definitions of words that when used correctly they are attacking or demeaning another person or their way of life. 

The evolution of technology and language has been very sneaky. In the ever so amazing way to push us against each other and direct our attention from the real problems of the world we have created "word wars". 

These word wars have perverted the definitions of words and thoughts to the point that when used correctly it makes the other person feel defensive or degraded. At the same time we have taken the literal meaning out of words we have also taken words that are horrible and mean and made them acceptable or common place. 

The problem is how do we get rid of, well, the problem?

There is no simple answer either. If we were to simply start educating others on the true definitions and proper usage of words, we would still be degrading them. And most people wouldn't put it properly either. The would just spam up their Facebook wall timeline with Websters and Dictionary.com links about proper usage of words. (Oh I can see the havoc this would bring with words like faggot and retarded.) Which would then cause more word wars with the other person thinking that you are telling them they are uneducated or lack knowledge.

There is no delicate way to walk this path I fear. Maybe we need to start when our children are younger teaching them the value of words. Or maybe we need to unplug the internet and have our conversations out in the streets, face to face, with people we can touch and feel. Or better yet, maybe we need to link every single word to their definitions on Dictionary.com. Wait, never mind.... that would be the opposite of what I'm trying to do.

The point is, words can hurt when we take them personally. Words can hurt when we assume how another person is using them. Words can hurt when aren't sure of their actual definition. And words hurt most when we are feeling bad about our personal decisions.

The take-away, 
Please, teach your children the value, weight and importance of words. No matter if it's a "swear/curse" word or a simple word like sub-par.



Hugs & Coffee, 
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom


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