Who I Am

So I've talked before about being on my path. Knowing things that shape who I am and who I want to be on my journey. And the longer I listen to myself, the more I find out who I really am. The only problem with finding who I am is finding I'm nowhere near who I thought I was and nowhere near what society and other people would consider “acceptable”. Now though, I am okay with that. I have finally made my peace with who I am and it is more freeing than I ever thought possible.

So who I am, you ask? Well, grab a mug of coffee or tea and a comfy seat and I will share who I am and how I managed my journey. Because life may be a highway, but all highways have on and off ramps for amazing, sometimes challenging detours. Sometimes they are beautiful, sometimes mournful and then sometimes they are so awe-inspiring that you feel goosebumps when you mention something that resonates with your heart?

Religion is often something that makes up the majority of people. Following God, being a Buddhist, Taoist, Christian, Pagan or Gnostic. It's such a variety and there is a war with all of them. We're too worried about the terms to worry about the bigger picture. For me, I identify myself as a God and Goddess loving, Jesus following, nature loving, tree hugging hippie Kitchen Witch. Why all these things? Because I believe in the duality. I don't feel that God would be just male. I really believe that everything on Earth is made in “Their” image so it would have to be a duality. I believe in Jesus and His teachings, yet I believe He was our Earth-bound teacher. He respected the land, the people of different faiths and especially those who were different or not considered equal to other people. His teachings are basic life lessons that teach you how to be a good person. And yes, He did say that you should love your God with all your heart. But I feel my God is both a God and a Goddess. Two entities who form one.

So the nature loving, tree hugging hippie Kitchen Witch part. I really feel like a God/Goddess who put us on this Earth and talks so much about it in the beginning that They wanted us to have everything we need to take care of ourselves. Herbalism, Divination, Respect, enjoyment in the daily tasks are parts of me that are most important. Healthy living. Living out the role of a mom, healer and care provider for my family is best done in my Kitchen. Growing nutrition {aka a garden/herbs} and using that to heal my family. Using my energy and praying for guidance in my kitchen while I prepare things to nourish my families bodies and souls. Respecting nature. Giving back to it when I can by recycling and composting. Loving Earth by treating her with respect and teaching my children to respect and love it. Leaving a better Earth for my children and leaving better children for the Earth.

So we've covered the religion part. The next part is where I have finally have come to realize anyone who has a problem with who I am, really isn't accepting of themselves. When we finally accept ourselves as a whole and no longer worry about what others think of us, then we can do the same for other people. To find acceptance for other people, we have to look deep inside ourselves and find out who we really are. Admit our flaws {I'm horrible at follow through, talk a lot and might need to tone my arms and belly.} and acknowledge our strengths without feeling like we shouldn't brag {I'm a great doula, an awesome researcher and a fun mom.} then we can look at others and only see their strengths. When we knit-pick others we are doing it because we are projecting our thoughts onto them. Sometimes this can be a good thing. It gives us a chance to really see what we need to work on or let go off. Where we can further grow in our lives and where it is time to let the plant die so that we can make room for a new one. For a long time I have projected my problems and flaws onto other people. I never stop to consider that it was something I need to work on. Finally realizing that has set me free.

I don't like wearing makeup. But I look really amazing in it. So I do it to make myself feel beautiful when I want to. And only when I want to. Never more, never less. I do however, like wearing dresses and skirts all the time. I feel more like myself when wearing them. I went all through high school wearing pants and really was never comfortable. If I had known that I would feel a million times more comfortable in my own skin wearing dresses I would have done it ages ago.

And I like to make things, but my follow through sucks. I keep saying I want to open an Etsy shop, but I'm afraid that if I did I wouldn't keep up with everything. I'd forget to mail stuff or I'd suck at it. Honestly, I'd really love to open a shop up like the one in Practical Magic. Maybe I should work on that next. Add it in with my doula and midwife work. We'll see.

So I've shared who I am and where I am considering going, so sound off in the comments who you are and where you are going. Have you found out who you are? Are you working on it?


-The Anti-Mainstream Mom

Ramble, Ramble

So I've been gone. I know, crummy me. But between a birth, mailing gifts out (and prizes!!) and starting to take charge of my healthy, I've just been kind of swamped. So while today is short and sweet, I do think about you all daily and am figuring out everything on my iPhone to get things going.

So this week brings *hopefully* the launch of the Etsy shop. Week 2 of C25k training and enough lettuce in my garden to make a salad!

So here's the baby from the last birth I attended! She's gorgeous and her mom was a rockstar! VBAC natural birth that didn't last very long at all. This family was amazing. Seriously, the dad of Baby W could be teaching classes on how to be a gentleman.

Ignore my lovely look. I was exhausted!

Here's one of the first babies I was there to witness and support being born. Baby Kenners (not her real name!) is actually the cousin to Baby W. She too was also born naturally to a mom having her 3rd baby and first natural birth! It was a marathon birth, but taught me so much! And Momma ended up becoming one of my best friends.

Those cheeks! She's so loveable. We even FaceTime!

And last but not least, my running soundtrack. Just because I am so giddy about my old school music!

So tell me below, what do you listen to when you workout!?!

-The Anti-Mainstream Mom


 

Preparing Your Mind and Body for Labor

One of the most challenging and fulfilling experiences in life is giving birth. It is a test of will and strength that is like no other. But just like any races or workout you begin, you do not want to go into in unprepared, mentally and physically. Below are several ways you can begin to prepare your body and mind for labor.

Mentally: By far, labor is a mental game. Being prepared and understanding what each stage of labor is going to bring will allow your mind and body to stay in the game far longer. You can prepare mentally by:

Visualization: Visualizing your birth experience and how you want to handle each change is a

great way to plan. Walk yourself through how you feel early/latent labor going, where do you

plan on laboring at, is there music, etc. Do this for each stage. Writing it down can often help

you affirm your plan. Make it positive, but also visualize how you would handle unexpected

circumstances. 

 

Prayer/Meditation: Using prayer and meditation to release your positive energy and thoughts to

direct your birth. Ask your religious Deity for support during labor. Turn to Scripture or Religious

text to prepare you.

Don't get hung up on the “What ifs?”: Every birth experience from mother to mother and even

baby to baby is going to be different. Don't get hung up worrying about what could have or

should have happened. You might be planning and preparing for a homebirth, but a natural

hospital birth can be just as fulfilling if you allow yourself the chance to enjoy it. Life changes

constantly, be prepared to roll with them.

Let go of your fears: It's a little know, not talked about in the OB office fact that fear can slow

or even stall your progress. Let go of fears and trust in your innate ability to birth your baby and you will be able to handle any obstacle that arises.

Focus on Baby: The ultimate goal here is a happy, healthy baby. Remembering that your are

working for the baby and not the method in which you get there will take a lot of stress off.

Yes, every woman wants her ideal birth, and there is nothing wrong with working towards that,

but do not become so hung up on the birth experience that you forget the reason you are

birthing.

Physically:

Just like preparing for a race, you want to train your body. You do not want to get the point of pushing and not have the stamina to continue. Because birth is a race of it's own kind, you want to prepare your body in accordance. Below are a few ways to prepare your body physically.

Gentle Exercise: I am not advocating you going out and doing some high end workout routine or

beginning a couch to 5k training, but you do want to gently exercise your body. Great ways to

do this are yoga and walking. The point of gentle exercise is to not wear yourself out, but to

increase your stamina so that you can go further and longer when birth begins.

Hydration: Often women are so tired of running to the restroom at the end of labor you'll find

them drinking less and less. This is the exact opposite of what you want to do. Being hydrated

has profound benefits on your birth experience. You will find that contractions can feel stronger

when you are dehydrated or your other muscles will cramp up. Since most hospitals do not allow

you to drink, you want to be well hydrated going in.

Breathing: This is very important to a runner, a dancer and even a birthing mother. Your

breathe is a very powerful and controlling action. During labor, you have the ability to breathe

yourself through the contractions, even when you think you aren't able. Start learning coping

breathes now so that when labor comes, you are prepared with the ones you want to try.

Stretching: Stretching your muscles daily will help prevent cramps and tightening during labor.

The looser and more relaxed you can be during labor the easier it will be for you to handle

the contractions.

Kegel Exercises: Kegel exercises are used to strengthen the pelvic muscles to aide in a better

birth. These should be performed daily to increase their effectiveness. They should be done 30

times a day and held for 30 seconds. To do them you flex your muscles like you would stop your

urine.

Perineum Massage: Massaging of the perineum during pregnancy works to increase the elasticity

to prevent tears or the need of an episiotomy during delivery. While this can be done on your

own, it is much easier and effective if you have your partner do it for you. 

**This is actually a document I wrote for my childbirth education classes. Please ask permission before reprinting.** 

Hugs & Coffee, 

-The Anti-Mainstream Mom  

Sources

Beier, Catherine. (2013, April 5). You want a natural vaginal birth, but have you prepared for it?. Retrieved from www.givingbirthnaturally.com

McBride, Tocarra. (2011, July 4). Natural way to prepare your body for the birth of a baby. Retrieved from www.livestrong.com

Clark, Sarah. (2010, September 20). 1o ways to prepare a mom for a great birth. Retrieved from www.mamabirth.blogspot.com