Preparing Your Mind and Body for Labor

One of the most challenging and fulfilling experiences in life is giving birth. It is a test of will and strength that is like no other. But just like any races or workout you begin, you do not want to go into in unprepared, mentally and physically. Below are several ways you can begin to prepare your body and mind for labor.

Mentally: By far, labor is a mental game. Being prepared and understanding what each stage of labor is going to bring will allow your mind and body to stay in the game far longer. You can prepare mentally by:

Visualization: Visualizing your birth experience and how you want to handle each change is a

great way to plan. Walk yourself through how you feel early/latent labor going, where do you

plan on laboring at, is there music, etc. Do this for each stage. Writing it down can often help

you affirm your plan. Make it positive, but also visualize how you would handle unexpected

circumstances. 

 

Prayer/Meditation: Using prayer and meditation to release your positive energy and thoughts to

direct your birth. Ask your religious Deity for support during labor. Turn to Scripture or Religious

text to prepare you.

Don't get hung up on the “What ifs?”: Every birth experience from mother to mother and even

baby to baby is going to be different. Don't get hung up worrying about what could have or

should have happened. You might be planning and preparing for a homebirth, but a natural

hospital birth can be just as fulfilling if you allow yourself the chance to enjoy it. Life changes

constantly, be prepared to roll with them.

Let go of your fears: It's a little know, not talked about in the OB office fact that fear can slow

or even stall your progress. Let go of fears and trust in your innate ability to birth your baby and you will be able to handle any obstacle that arises.

Focus on Baby: The ultimate goal here is a happy, healthy baby. Remembering that your are

working for the baby and not the method in which you get there will take a lot of stress off.

Yes, every woman wants her ideal birth, and there is nothing wrong with working towards that,

but do not become so hung up on the birth experience that you forget the reason you are

birthing.

Physically:

Just like preparing for a race, you want to train your body. You do not want to get the point of pushing and not have the stamina to continue. Because birth is a race of it's own kind, you want to prepare your body in accordance. Below are a few ways to prepare your body physically.

Gentle Exercise: I am not advocating you going out and doing some high end workout routine or

beginning a couch to 5k training, but you do want to gently exercise your body. Great ways to

do this are yoga and walking. The point of gentle exercise is to not wear yourself out, but to

increase your stamina so that you can go further and longer when birth begins.

Hydration: Often women are so tired of running to the restroom at the end of labor you'll find

them drinking less and less. This is the exact opposite of what you want to do. Being hydrated

has profound benefits on your birth experience. You will find that contractions can feel stronger

when you are dehydrated or your other muscles will cramp up. Since most hospitals do not allow

you to drink, you want to be well hydrated going in.

Breathing: This is very important to a runner, a dancer and even a birthing mother. Your

breathe is a very powerful and controlling action. During labor, you have the ability to breathe

yourself through the contractions, even when you think you aren't able. Start learning coping

breathes now so that when labor comes, you are prepared with the ones you want to try.

Stretching: Stretching your muscles daily will help prevent cramps and tightening during labor.

The looser and more relaxed you can be during labor the easier it will be for you to handle

the contractions.

Kegel Exercises: Kegel exercises are used to strengthen the pelvic muscles to aide in a better

birth. These should be performed daily to increase their effectiveness. They should be done 30

times a day and held for 30 seconds. To do them you flex your muscles like you would stop your

urine.

Perineum Massage: Massaging of the perineum during pregnancy works to increase the elasticity

to prevent tears or the need of an episiotomy during delivery. While this can be done on your

own, it is much easier and effective if you have your partner do it for you. 

**This is actually a document I wrote for my childbirth education classes. Please ask permission before reprinting.** 

Hugs & Coffee, 

-The Anti-Mainstream Mom  

Sources

Beier, Catherine. (2013, April 5). You want a natural vaginal birth, but have you prepared for it?. Retrieved from www.givingbirthnaturally.com

McBride, Tocarra. (2011, July 4). Natural way to prepare your body for the birth of a baby. Retrieved from www.livestrong.com

Clark, Sarah. (2010, September 20). 1o ways to prepare a mom for a great birth. Retrieved from www.mamabirth.blogspot.com

Parenting Through Seperations

While a separation for the family can be hard to navigate with children it is important that we find ways to make it easier for everyone. While no one wants to have a separate their families, there are times when it is unavoidable and can be hard on everyone involved.

 Separations happen for a lot of reasons. Military, rehabs, work, divorces and more. They also effect everyone differently. And while no reason is better or worse than the other, they all take a toll on the children and the parents.

My family is at a point where right now we are facing a separation. And it takes it's toll on the children, my partner and myself. It's hard. And it's work.

There are a few things that I find make separations easier to navigate (and survive!).

1. Make sure you are the same page parenting wise.
 Really this is key for all parenting relationships at all times. If you do not present a united front you cannot parent effectively. Ideally this should have been worked out prior to children. I will not tell you what type of parenting you should use. It is not my place nor do all families use the same style or do all children react to them. The key here is that you are united, not divided, no matter the circumstances.

2. Make sure kids get a chance to talk to the away parent whenever possible. 
This is crucial. For the children to have a good relationship with both parents is so important. Each parent provides a different set of emotions for the child to use and grow from. It's often thought that the mother is the nurturer and the father is the disciplinarian, but that isn't always the case. A mother can be a nurturer and the father could be the one they go to for play and growth or vice versa. But it is crucial that the child(ren) have all their needs met by a good relationship with both parents.

3. Find as much time as possible to do family activities.
Within you limits and resources, finding ways to do things as a family like you normally would is vastly important. This helps create a sense of normalcy for the child(ren) and both you and your partner. It helps keep the child(ren) in the mindset of there are two parents around me and can even keep their behavior more in line with how it would be with both parents in the household.

4. Keep the same rules.
Children thrive of habit and ritual. Keeping the same rules and schedules to the best of your ability will make the moments when the realize the other parent isn't there a little easier to navigate. Yes, you will find you have moments when you just need to let them watch television for 3 hours and go crazy and let them do something you wouldn't normally do (like run through the house), but overall keeping the rules and rituals normal will keep up the impression that both parents are there.

5. Understand that your child(ren) are going through the separation emotionally too.
Have Patience. Too often we focus on what we are going through and not what the child(ren) is feeling as well. It is very important to take extra chances to hug, kiss, praise and interact with them. While we want to create the sense of normalcy through the routine, we also want to make up for the difference in love they would normally receive. It also provides them with chances to come to you with anything they may be feeling. Take the time to really listen to what they have to say and express understanding and compassion when responding.

6. Make sure you and your partner find ways to connect. 
While it will be harder to have the relationship you normally have, look at this as a challenge to work on your verbal skills. Find ways to show gratitude and emotion for one another that you may not have in a while. Write letters, send flowers and small trinkets or treat it like you are courting each other again to bring a new revival to your relationship. While it feels like it could be a curse or negative time, you could find is exactly the opposite and what you really needed to take a stagnant relationship to a new level.

Above all, it is important to remember that a separation is often only temporary and often will results in a really good outcome. Things may seem glim and bleek right now, but when things finally come together in the end like they are designed to do, the payoff will be worth it.

Making sure that your child and partner feel loved, cared for, enjoyed and important can and will make this transition smoother. And for everyone facing a separation, I am right there with you!


Hugs and Coffee,
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom
Please take a second to follow me on Facebook!