Finding Direction

So obviously the blog has been lacking. And I'm super seriously sorry about that. I really have no good excuses other than life has gotten in the way. So what have I been up to? Well, life. Figuring out some more things, directions and goals for my family. Setting up breastfeeding groups, working on finding a midwife to work with, getting everything prepared for homeschooling/unschooling, figuring out a budget and finding out if we want to stay where we are or move closer to split the difference between our current jobs. Oh, and there is that. I took a summer job to help save up money to either a) by our own land and build up from the ground up or b) buy a cheap little house with a bit of land and turn it in to our very own homestead (or rent it).

So yes, choices, planning and finding direction. Finding out more of who I am, who my family is and where we want to be. Where our future lies. And none of these are easy decisions. The effect of these are going to dictate our next several years. And before we've kind of jumped and not planned. The fear of jumping this time is holding me back. With the results in the several previous times, I am not willing to go into our next life decision without a plan and enough money to support the decision.

For once though I am not thinking about anyone other than my little family of four. I'm not worried about what my parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles or grandparents will think. I am only worried about what is going to work best for my family. What is going to give us the life we wanted without any trouble. Without worrying about if we will have enough to provide for every day life and still be able to do everything we want in life. We are not going to compromise our goals of homeschooling/unschooling, gardening and living off the grid as much as possible, homesteading, and saving for anything. We know that we can find what we want and still have all of our integrity. We can still reach our goals. And along with not compromising our personal wants. I will not have to give up my goal of becoming a midwife and Anti-Mainstream Dad won't have to give up his life ambitions. He'll be able to work greater towards what it is he wants out of life.

Our family finally has a motto. It's not a Scripture or quote. It's just simply a goal. Our motto is a goal. “Find Yourself and Be Willing to Look Yourself in the Eye.” Nothing greater than true self love and acceptance is more important to our family. Because once we have accepted ourselves, then we are willing and open to working together and accepting everyone. So we will work towards our family motto/goal and work towards meeting all our life goals and no longer judge or regard anyone or anything with malice. We will simply be who we are and by being who we are, we will succeed in all our family goals.

Ramble, Ramble

So I've been gone. I know, crummy me. But between a birth, mailing gifts out (and prizes!!) and starting to take charge of my healthy, I've just been kind of swamped. So while today is short and sweet, I do think about you all daily and am figuring out everything on my iPhone to get things going.

So this week brings *hopefully* the launch of the Etsy shop. Week 2 of C25k training and enough lettuce in my garden to make a salad!

So here's the baby from the last birth I attended! She's gorgeous and her mom was a rockstar! VBAC natural birth that didn't last very long at all. This family was amazing. Seriously, the dad of Baby W could be teaching classes on how to be a gentleman.

Ignore my lovely look. I was exhausted!

Here's one of the first babies I was there to witness and support being born. Baby Kenners (not her real name!) is actually the cousin to Baby W. She too was also born naturally to a mom having her 3rd baby and first natural birth! It was a marathon birth, but taught me so much! And Momma ended up becoming one of my best friends.

Those cheeks! She's so loveable. We even FaceTime!

And last but not least, my running soundtrack. Just because I am so giddy about my old school music!

So tell me below, what do you listen to when you workout!?!

-The Anti-Mainstream Mom


 

A Peak Into Our Life

I forgot to do Wordless Wednesday. I really thought I would do it, but yikes, I forgot. So instead, I figured I'd share a few pictures over the last few days to give you a glimpse into our little life. We aren't a "busy" family. All our activity comes from what we do around our little homestead. So here you go....

*Planting a garden, Planting a garden*

We just recently moved to get more off "the grid" and we are taking the first, albeit, baby steps towards living our more natural, anti-mainstream life. Even though we practice several non-mainstream {or as we call them here on AMM anti-mainstream} we are always looking to increase what we do and raise our children cleaner. One of these ventures is in our family garden this year. Combined with the produce we produce, the access we have to local grass-fed meats and living right outside an Amish community we will have a plethora of other fruits and veggies to sustain us for the summer/fall months not to mention being able to store for winter.

Our garden plots. Aside from these two SFG boxes we have 4 large drums that we are going to grow crops in.

Our goal is to produce enough to feed us for most of our summer/fall dinners and put away what we can. By doing this we picked the vegetables our kids like the most and what we eat most frequently. Our kids are different than most. Broccoli is actually their favorite! Not that I'm complaining.

Our large bed has a trellis for some of our vine plants.

So what are we growing?

3 Broccoli
20 Green Onion Plants
18 Green Bean Plants
8 Spinach Plants
Mixed Greens (Mescalin Blend)
Black Seed Lettuce
Butter Lettuce
4 Cucumbers
4 Summer (Yellow) Squash
4 Acorn Squash
4 Zucchini
4 Watermelon
4 Cantaloupe
4 Tomato
4 Bell Peppers
Countless Carrots 
Assorted Herbs (Chives, Cilantro, Basil, Rosemary, Parsley, etc.)


We are pretty excited for growing our garden. Even started it before the New Moon so it would grow in favor with the moon cycle. We are very excited and can barely contain our joy to see what lessons growing a garden brings for us. 

And I think our garden was greeted with lots and lots of rain! I'm taking it as a sign of good fortune. 

So what are you growing?


Hugs & Coffee, 
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom
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Parenting Through Seperations

While a separation for the family can be hard to navigate with children it is important that we find ways to make it easier for everyone. While no one wants to have a separate their families, there are times when it is unavoidable and can be hard on everyone involved.

 Separations happen for a lot of reasons. Military, rehabs, work, divorces and more. They also effect everyone differently. And while no reason is better or worse than the other, they all take a toll on the children and the parents.

My family is at a point where right now we are facing a separation. And it takes it's toll on the children, my partner and myself. It's hard. And it's work.

There are a few things that I find make separations easier to navigate (and survive!).

1. Make sure you are the same page parenting wise.
 Really this is key for all parenting relationships at all times. If you do not present a united front you cannot parent effectively. Ideally this should have been worked out prior to children. I will not tell you what type of parenting you should use. It is not my place nor do all families use the same style or do all children react to them. The key here is that you are united, not divided, no matter the circumstances.

2. Make sure kids get a chance to talk to the away parent whenever possible. 
This is crucial. For the children to have a good relationship with both parents is so important. Each parent provides a different set of emotions for the child to use and grow from. It's often thought that the mother is the nurturer and the father is the disciplinarian, but that isn't always the case. A mother can be a nurturer and the father could be the one they go to for play and growth or vice versa. But it is crucial that the child(ren) have all their needs met by a good relationship with both parents.

3. Find as much time as possible to do family activities.
Within you limits and resources, finding ways to do things as a family like you normally would is vastly important. This helps create a sense of normalcy for the child(ren) and both you and your partner. It helps keep the child(ren) in the mindset of there are two parents around me and can even keep their behavior more in line with how it would be with both parents in the household.

4. Keep the same rules.
Children thrive of habit and ritual. Keeping the same rules and schedules to the best of your ability will make the moments when the realize the other parent isn't there a little easier to navigate. Yes, you will find you have moments when you just need to let them watch television for 3 hours and go crazy and let them do something you wouldn't normally do (like run through the house), but overall keeping the rules and rituals normal will keep up the impression that both parents are there.

5. Understand that your child(ren) are going through the separation emotionally too.
Have Patience. Too often we focus on what we are going through and not what the child(ren) is feeling as well. It is very important to take extra chances to hug, kiss, praise and interact with them. While we want to create the sense of normalcy through the routine, we also want to make up for the difference in love they would normally receive. It also provides them with chances to come to you with anything they may be feeling. Take the time to really listen to what they have to say and express understanding and compassion when responding.

6. Make sure you and your partner find ways to connect. 
While it will be harder to have the relationship you normally have, look at this as a challenge to work on your verbal skills. Find ways to show gratitude and emotion for one another that you may not have in a while. Write letters, send flowers and small trinkets or treat it like you are courting each other again to bring a new revival to your relationship. While it feels like it could be a curse or negative time, you could find is exactly the opposite and what you really needed to take a stagnant relationship to a new level.

Above all, it is important to remember that a separation is often only temporary and often will results in a really good outcome. Things may seem glim and bleek right now, but when things finally come together in the end like they are designed to do, the payoff will be worth it.

Making sure that your child and partner feel loved, cared for, enjoyed and important can and will make this transition smoother. And for everyone facing a separation, I am right there with you!


Hugs and Coffee,
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom
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Snow Day Activities

So Missouri got buried in snow this past week. With a good 9-12 inches in most areas. It was chaos and everything shut down. I mean, everything. My kids and I took the opportunity to make a fun out of the bum and had a few adventures. We made snow ice cream and then my oldest son went out to play in the snow while little sister and I sat in the warm house and watched him play! (Yes, he was supervised.)

First up, snow ice cream! It's really not a snow day if you don't make this vintage family favorite. 

After snow ice cream we headed out into the snow to play. Well I sent Noah out with his Uncle. Rowan has been recovering from a cold, so I didn't want to put her out there. (Even though I know that the cold doesn't cause a cold.)

And because he's so cheery... 

He took a shovel full of snow to the face on accident.





So this was the 9-12 inches of snow. We're in store for another 5-12 inches. Share below what your favorite snow day activity is so we can try it out! 




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