So I've
talked before about being on my path. Knowing things that shape who I
am and who I want to be on my journey. And the longer I listen to
myself, the more I find out who I really am. The only problem with
finding who I am is finding I'm nowhere near who I thought I was and
nowhere near what society and other people would consider
“acceptable”. Now though, I am okay with that. I have finally
made my peace with who I am and it is more freeing than I ever
thought possible.
So who
I am, you ask? Well, grab a mug of coffee or tea and a comfy seat and
I will share who I am and how I managed my journey. Because life may
be a highway, but all highways have on and off ramps for amazing,
sometimes challenging detours. Sometimes they are beautiful,
sometimes mournful and then sometimes they are so awe-inspiring that
you feel goosebumps when you mention something that resonates with
your heart?
Religion
is often something that makes up the majority of people. Following
God, being a Buddhist, Taoist, Christian, Pagan or Gnostic. It's such
a variety and there is a war with all of them. We're too worried
about the terms to worry about the bigger picture. For me, I identify
myself as a God and Goddess loving, Jesus following, nature loving,
tree hugging hippie Kitchen Witch. Why all these things? Because I
believe in the duality. I don't feel that God would be just male. I
really believe that everything on Earth is made in “Their” image
so it would have to be a duality. I believe in Jesus and His
teachings, yet I believe He was our Earth-bound teacher. He respected
the land, the people of different faiths and especially those who
were different or not considered equal to other people. His teachings
are basic life lessons that teach you how to be a good person. And
yes, He did say that you should love your God with all your heart.
But I feel my God is both a God and a Goddess. Two entities who form
one.
So the
nature loving, tree hugging hippie Kitchen Witch part. I really feel
like a God/Goddess who put us on this Earth and talks so much about
it in the beginning that They wanted us to have everything we need to
take care of ourselves. Herbalism, Divination, Respect, enjoyment in
the daily tasks are parts of me that are most important. Healthy
living. Living out the role of a mom, healer and care provider for my
family is best done in my Kitchen. Growing nutrition {aka a
garden/herbs} and using that to heal my family. Using my energy and
praying for guidance in my kitchen while I prepare things to nourish
my families bodies and souls. Respecting nature. Giving back to it
when I can by recycling and composting. Loving Earth by treating her
with respect and teaching my children to respect and love it. Leaving
a better Earth for my children and leaving better children for the
Earth.
So
we've covered the religion part. The next part is where I have
finally have come to realize anyone who has a problem with who I am,
really isn't accepting of themselves. When we finally accept
ourselves as a whole and no longer worry about what others think of
us, then we can do the same for other people. To find acceptance for
other people, we have to look deep inside ourselves and find out who
we really are. Admit our flaws {I'm horrible at follow through, talk
a lot and might need to tone my arms and belly.} and acknowledge our
strengths without feeling like we shouldn't brag {I'm a great doula,
an awesome researcher and a fun mom.} then we can look at others and
only see their strengths. When we knit-pick others we are doing it
because we are projecting our thoughts onto them. Sometimes this can
be a good thing. It gives us a chance to really see what we need to
work on or let go off. Where we can further grow in our lives and
where it is time to let the plant die so that we can make room for a
new one. For a long time I have projected my problems and flaws onto
other people. I never stop to consider that it was something I need
to work on. Finally realizing that has set me free.
I don't
like wearing makeup. But I look really amazing in it. So I do it to
make myself feel beautiful when I want to. And only when I want to.
Never more, never less. I do however, like wearing dresses and skirts
all the time. I feel more like myself when wearing them. I went all
through high school wearing pants and really was never comfortable.
If I had known that I would feel a million times more comfortable in
my own skin wearing dresses I would have done it ages ago.
And I
like to make things, but my follow through sucks. I keep saying I
want to open an Etsy shop, but I'm afraid that if I did I wouldn't
keep up with everything. I'd forget to mail stuff or I'd suck at it.
Honestly, I'd really love to open a shop up like the one in Practical
Magic. Maybe I should work on that next. Add it in with my doula and
midwife work. We'll see.
So I've
shared who I am and where I am considering going, so sound off in the
comments who you are and where you are going. Have you found out who
you are? Are you working on it?
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom
