Finding Direction

So obviously the blog has been lacking. And I'm super seriously sorry about that. I really have no good excuses other than life has gotten in the way. So what have I been up to? Well, life. Figuring out some more things, directions and goals for my family. Setting up breastfeeding groups, working on finding a midwife to work with, getting everything prepared for homeschooling/unschooling, figuring out a budget and finding out if we want to stay where we are or move closer to split the difference between our current jobs. Oh, and there is that. I took a summer job to help save up money to either a) by our own land and build up from the ground up or b) buy a cheap little house with a bit of land and turn it in to our very own homestead (or rent it).

So yes, choices, planning and finding direction. Finding out more of who I am, who my family is and where we want to be. Where our future lies. And none of these are easy decisions. The effect of these are going to dictate our next several years. And before we've kind of jumped and not planned. The fear of jumping this time is holding me back. With the results in the several previous times, I am not willing to go into our next life decision without a plan and enough money to support the decision.

For once though I am not thinking about anyone other than my little family of four. I'm not worried about what my parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles or grandparents will think. I am only worried about what is going to work best for my family. What is going to give us the life we wanted without any trouble. Without worrying about if we will have enough to provide for every day life and still be able to do everything we want in life. We are not going to compromise our goals of homeschooling/unschooling, gardening and living off the grid as much as possible, homesteading, and saving for anything. We know that we can find what we want and still have all of our integrity. We can still reach our goals. And along with not compromising our personal wants. I will not have to give up my goal of becoming a midwife and Anti-Mainstream Dad won't have to give up his life ambitions. He'll be able to work greater towards what it is he wants out of life.

Our family finally has a motto. It's not a Scripture or quote. It's just simply a goal. Our motto is a goal. “Find Yourself and Be Willing to Look Yourself in the Eye.” Nothing greater than true self love and acceptance is more important to our family. Because once we have accepted ourselves, then we are willing and open to working together and accepting everyone. So we will work towards our family motto/goal and work towards meeting all our life goals and no longer judge or regard anyone or anything with malice. We will simply be who we are and by being who we are, we will succeed in all our family goals.

I'm not bribing my kid, I'm teaching him to work towards and incentive!

I have a rant. A problem really. And the more I think about it logically, the more it upsets me. While I try not to spank or raise my voice or any of those wonderful ::eyeroll:: parenting style methods my parents used on me, I do have one I use. Most people call it bribing. I call it something entirely different.


We hear it all the time.

"Don't bribe your kid, they'll grow up wanting something for everything."

"Don't bribe your kid, you'll make them spoiled."

"Don't bribe you kid, yada yada yada....."

By their standards I do bribe my child. But I don't call it bribery and I don't think there is truly anything wrong with it. Why, you ask?

Well I think of it this way. The entire foundation of our adult life is based on incentives and goals. When you grow up and you work in the "real world" (whatever that really is!!) you have incentives for everything you do.

Go to work = Make money.
Do good at work = Get bonuses.
Pay your bills on time =Get good credit.
Help a friend out = Get free beer.


So if in our pursuit to prepare our children for "real life" we do not teach them the value and goal of incentives, then I feel like we are leaving out a crucial part of life skills. I'm not bribing my child. I'm teaching him to work towards a goal and incentive that will benefit him.

Do you teach your child to work towards a goal or an incentive?

Share your comments below!
-The Anti-Mainstream Mom